Ways to educate little one when involve in quarrel

Morinaga Platinum ♦ 6 January 2020

Educate children to be able to socialize with their friends their age, it’s necessary to do it at an early stage. Mom can encourage little one to play with their friends. The more they play with their friends, their social skills will improve.

If in the social process little one gets into a fight with their friends, it’s common. Children at the age of 3-5 years are having a high selfishness and couldn’t understand if others have different ideas from them. Trivial things like borrowing toys can trigger their quarrel.

When did Mom need to intervene when little one quarreled with their friend?

According to Dr. Peter Coleman, Ph.D., a psychologist and education professor in Columbia University, there are parents that on purpose to not intervene so children can learn how to solve it by themselves. However, there are also parents with parenting tipe known as helicopter parenting. Helicopter parenting type refers to parents that always want to be on their children's side so they can watch all little one activities like helicopter. Although it makes everything under control, this parenting type potentially makes little one depend on the parent. According to Dr. Coleman, it should be done both in balance. Mom can intervene when it’s necessary, for example, when children start to use things to hit each other and they should involve in that problem solving. But, there is time Mom has to let that happen, give little one chance so they can try to solve the problem on their own.

Remember that little one quarrel with their friends is a part of the learning process for their social skills, so it needs a right attitude to face the situation. Mom can follow the tips below to face little one who are involved in conflict with their friends.

Tips when little one has conflict with their friends

  • Give understanding and teach little one to empathize
    It’s often for little one to feel the most right person without thinking of their friends' feelings and conditions. For that, little one needs Mom's help to understand that their friends might be upset because they are jealous and sad because they don’t have the same toy. Mom can also teach little one to empathize with trying to identify if they are in the same condition as their friends. This will help little on to not always think they are right and can be more empathize with others' feelings.

  • Asking to identify the trigger
    Mom can ask little one to tell the conflict chronology, how it could happen. With that, Mom can help to reduce the risk they physically fight and calm their emotions. Mom also can suggest little one to discuss the problem the next day. Little one is able to ask a question, like “ why were you mad at me yesterday?” This action will help to ease the anger and give their friends a chance to explain their feelings and help little one to know the root of the problem.

  • Teach little one to apologize and admit mistake
    This is not an easy thing to do, even for adults. But, help little one to be brave to admit their mistakes and encourage  them so they will be brave to express their opinions or reasons when they made an error.

    Teaching little one to apologize will be best not just theory but also practiced. According to Dr. Coleman, children are like a sponge that absorb and adopt what adults do. Let little one see when Mom does something wrong to Dad and Mom admit it and apologize about it.

After knowing the tips, Mom can immediately practice it to educate little one to be a child with good character. With that, when they grow up, this character will be an asset for them to socialize in school environment even in their work environment. So, keep on spirit to educate little one to become a person with good character and fun to be with.

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