Find Out Why and How to Manage Your Grumpy Child
Oleh: Morinaga Platinum
Does your little one gets emotional so easily? Tantrum or rage is common in children. The trigger may vary, from feeling frustrated because unable to do something or being upset because he has to do what you ask, even if he doesn’t want to. However, if tantrum happens repeatedly or he is really unable to control his emotion, it can be a sign that he may be having behavioral problems.
So, what are the signs of behavioral problems which you must be aware of?
- Tantrum still occurs at 7-8 years old, the age group where your child should have been able to control his anger
- His behavior endangers himself and others
- You often get a reprimand from school because of his behavior
- His behavior prevents him from socializing with his friends, e.g. isolated from the peer group
- His tantrum causes many conflicts at home
- When he gets upset with himself because unable to control his anger, this makes him feel useless
If a child routinely gets tantrum, it usually a symptom of emotional distress. The first step to manage it is to find out the triggers of his behavior. There are several conditions that may underlie a child’s tantrum episode, among others, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), anxiety, feeling neglected at home, suffer from learning disorders, or autism. To clearly find out the root of the problem, a child should follow a physical and psychological examination from both pediatrician and psychiatrist.
Then, what about a child who does not frequently having tantrum episode but find it difficult to control his emotions? The level of a child’s temperament is different. It is influenced by various things, such as genetic factors as well as environmental factors like family or surrounding community. A grumpy attitude of a child can also be influenced by parenting style and relationship between father, mother, and the child.
Erik Erikson, an American psychologist who is well-known for his theory of psychosocial development, explains that there are four stages of psychological development in children. At the age of 0-2 years, children are at the stage of trust development. Then at 2-3 years, they are at the stage of independency development. After the age of 4-5 years, the stage of initiative development is occurred. And at the age of 6-11 years, children develop the feeling to get his desires.
Lack of parents’ role in mental and emotional education during the early years will affect mental condition of children in the future. This may cause children to feel inferior, grumpy, lack of trust, or shy.
Here are several tips that you can do to handle a grumpy child:
Know your child
Both Mom and Dad should know the nature and character of your little one. Also recognize the positive and negative sides of your child and teach him how to hone his positive side as well as to handle his negative side.
Mom and Dad should apply the same parenting style
In the family, both parents must have the same parenting style which is not contradictory. Contradictory parenting style will confuse your child. If your child demands something, it is better to discuss it with your spouse before making decision. Do not let Daddy forbid but Mommy allow it or vice versa.
Give appropriate reactions to your child’s attitude
Get angry is an emotional expression of a child. If he is angry, show attitudes of understanding and listen to his complaints. Ask him what causing him angry, also ask what he thinks is best to handle that problem. If you think the solution is appropriate, then allow it. If it is not, give him understanding why it’s not allowed. Do not face anger with anger. It will only make things worse.
Your little one will imitate your behavior. So if you get angry easily, you should also change the habit to prevent your child from doing it as well. Give him sufficient attention, affection, and understanding while remain firm, so that he will respect you, as parents.
Train your child since the early years will slowly change his temper. Only then you will find your child is growing into a well-behaved and fun person.