Mommy must often hear various expressions about the birth order in the family. Let’s say there are some expressions which sounds like the followings: usually, the eldest is responsible, the middle is less caring, the youngest is too pampered. Then some say the eldest leads, the middle is the negotiator, the youngest is jovial and jaunty. Are these expressions true?
Keep in mind that children are independent individuals who have their own uniqueness. Each child has a different physical character and personality traits. Without a relationship to the birth order, the character of the Little One will be formed from at the age of 3-10 years. This character develops and is influenced by various factors such as parenting and education as well as the role of educational institutions. This means that it is not necessarily that The Youngest grows into a spoiled person.
Let's discuss the character formation factor of the Little One:
It is for sure that the Little One’s personality is formed first time in the family. So, if the family has a permissive parenting style (giving attention but loose in the demands), the Little One to be spoiled and irresponsible because his/her desire is often obeyed. Conversely, if authoritatively cared for (very demanding but not paying attention), the Little One can grow into a timid and uninspired personality. Ideally, parenting is undertaken democratically, that is, when Daddy and Mommy give demands but also give attention to the needs of the Little One.
The Little Ones place to get the next guidance is the institution of education. Here, the Little One’s character is formed in various aspects. The formation of this character should be done in a balanced way, but there is often one aspect that is emphasized while the other aspects are ignored. For example,an excessive emphasis on the cognitive aspect but an ignoring the formation of characters. It can form the Little One into a person who may be successful cognitively but lacks positive characters. So, make sure that Mommy chooses a school in which the curriculum is in accordance with the parenting and education style the family believes.
Mommy can also apply the following tips for the Little One to grow to be independent and has good characters:
Often there are cases where the Daddy and Mommy are divided into two camps namely good cop and bad cop. Daddy says "yes", while Mommy says "no". This should be avoided so that the Little One does not tend to spoil on one side. Firstly, Daddy and Mommy need to agree between each other on the kind of parenting stlye to be applied in the family.
In developing a good relationship with the Little One, smooth communication is needed. Make sure that Daddy and Mommy take the time to chat with the Little One. In addition that he/she can open up, this can also prevent him/her to be spoiled because of lack of attention.
Too often in giving help when yourLittle One needs it will make him/herto be dependant and even be too spoiled. Apply simple rules that the Little One must obey. Let him/her take responsibility for his behavior. Loving the Little One does not mean that Mommy must obey all of his/ her wishes.
Your Little One, regardless of the order of birth in the family, has his/her own uniqueness and ability. Shape his/her character well so that he/she grows into an independent and responsible individual.
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